


Brothers (and Meddling Passersby) Know Best

by ChiaRoseKuro



Series: A World of One's Own [23]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Drabble, Gen, Inappropriate Treatment of Food, Not Canon Compliant, Not Naruto Epilogue Compliant, Overprotective Siblings, Prompt Fic, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-29 17:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19405237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiaRoseKuro/pseuds/ChiaRoseKuro
Summary: His plan had been a leisurely day off, one of the very few he’d allowed himself since wrangling back his position in ANBU—But instead of losing himself in a good book or bird-watching from his window, Itachi’s… almostbemusedto find himself saddled with a wet nurse.A wet nurse with a ferocious scowl and absolutely no bedside manners, but a wet nurse nonetheless.It’d even becutewere this not Sasuke’s default reaction to all Itachi-related injuries.In between regaining a second lease on life and reintegrating into Konoha, the Uchiha brothers don't really have much time to spare on each other. Somehow, though, they squeeze in a whole lot of concern - and when two mother hens collide?Feathers willfly, whether anyone else wants them to or not.(ft. clucking Uchihas, a well-fed Naruto and lots of makeup, courtesy of the terrible fashion duo)





	Brothers (and Meddling Passersby) Know Best

**Author's Note:**

> Unlike the other stories in the _Second Dawn_ series, this was motivated by both a sentence prompt ('Try focusing more on your life and less on me!') and a song (BTS' _Heartbeat_ , courtesy of BTS World and my obsessive fangirl ass). Were I not sticking to a theme of punny titles, this would've been called 'A Dream-Like Reality', but it is what it is. However, the T rating is pretty much on par for the series in that there's some swearing and an implied homosexual relationship in this... but if that isn't your jam, then there's always the 'back' button at your disposal.
> 
> You might be a bit confused if you don't read the first story in the series, _Life is a Bang(ed Up Train Wreck)_ , so I'd highly recommend reading that first before you try and tackle this one - not only is the presence of makeup explained there, but so is the presence of supposedly dead Akatsuki members as well. But if you've read it (or you simply can't be bothered to and just came for some laughs) then by all means, read on~

* * *

“It’s a little weird, isn’t it?” Naruto asks, apropos of nothing and half-muffled behind a mouthful of ramen. When Sasuke levels him with the glare it deserves, though, he only shrugs and says, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, having my dad cry over my chastity is kinda funny, but…”

 _But my dad’s meant to be shinigami chow,_ Naruto’s barely polite enough to refrain from saying, and Sasuke casts a surreptitious glance to his left. His first reaction might’ve been to scoff, if he’d been completely removed from the situation—but when his older brother’s delicately shredding tofu with his chopsticks by his side?

Sasuke still remembers the corpse housing Itachi’s spirit, flaking skin and black sclera a stark contrast to the pale and perpetually tired hero his older brother had always been to him. He remembers tears running down his cheeks as Itachi’s soul had been released, brilliant lights dancing around him as his brother had pressed their foreheads together one last time.

He’d been ready to let go, then, at peace with the idea of his brother’s sacrifice and resolute in his own. Sasuke could still remember the moment he’d been ready to put everything on the line, assured in either lasting worldwide peace or eternal, personal peace.

But here the miraculously revived idiot is, slipping a sliver of tofu into his mouth and humming in faint satisfaction. Here _Sasuke_ is, scowling down at his innocent cherry tomatoes with all the ire they don’t deserve, and he doesn’t snap out of it until Naruto waves a hand in front of his face.

“Well, at least you’ll always be a broody bastard,” Naruto mutters just a little too loudly, and Sasuke takes _great_ pleasure in shoving his face into his still-hot ramen broth.

(and if he gives a funny little twitch at Itachi’s restrained laughter… then that’s for him to know and for nobody else to ever find out)

(but then, since when was the world ever that kind to Sasuke?)  
  


* * *

  
The injury’s nothing to worry about, really—for a shinobi that had been a S-rank missing-nin at one point, it’s barely even _worthy_ of medical treatment. Itachi had been on an early-morning patrol when he’d landed a little too heavily on one leg, overextending a tendon in such a way that it’d twinged with every step he took, and he’d been ordered to rest his leg at home for a day.

His plan had been a leisurely day off, one of the very few he’d allowed himself since wrangling back his position in ANBU—

But instead of losing himself in a good book or bird-watching from his window, Itachi’s… almost _bemused_ to find himself saddled with a wet nurse.

A wet nurse with a ferocious scowl and absolutely no bedside manners, but a wet nurse nonetheless.

It’d even be _cute_ were this not Sasuke’s default reaction to all Itachi-related injuries.

“It’s just a sprained tendon,” Itachi protests mildly—but no, there Sasuke comes with a bowl of congee in one hand and a spoon brandished in the other.

“Little brother, stop overreacting over every little thing,” Itachi tries to say next—but he barely makes it past the second word before Sasuke’s aggressively blowing on a spoonful of congee and shoving it right into his mouth.

Maybe it has something to do with the shimmering ruby-red eyeshadow on Sasuke’s face, or maybe it’s the actual nurse outfit he’s been stuffed into—Deidara had never quite forgiven his little brother for using the Sharingan on him, and Itachi’s not going to interfere even if his life depends on it. But right now, with Sasuke resolutely blowing on another spoonful of congee in between attempts to readjust the throw blanket around his legs…

“Little brother,” Itachi murmurs with as much patience as he can possibly spare, “didn’t you promise to meet Naruto for lunch?”

“The moron can find his own way to Ichiraku Ramen without me holding his hand,” Sasuke replies stiffly, and stuffs another spoonful of congee into Itachi’s mouth before he can so much as sigh.

“Be that as it may,” Itachi manages, after a few more spoonfuls of congee and Sasuke’s scowl had subsided a touch, “isn’t it meant to be your anniversary today? Those aren’t very common, you know.”

“Revived older brothers aren’t either,” Sasuke fires back, and—if his eyelashes weren’t so long and his lips were just a touch less red? Itachi would poke his fingers against his stubborn little brother’s forehead, but he doesn’t want to ruin the foundation Deidara so lovingly applied to Sasuke’s face.

So, instead, he settles with a faintly exasperated, “Sasuke, I will not _die_ from a sprained tendon. I’ll even make sure my soul stays with my body while I heal.”

It is, in hindsight, a good thing that Sasuke was so insistent on forcing that bowl of congee into him—it would’ve been _hell_ to scrub it out of the tatami had any been left when Sasuke had flung it onto the floor.

But when Sasuke storms out in a snit, throat sore from too much yelling at his idiotic big brother… Itachi has no compunctions about summoning a clone to discreetly follow him around, or of humming anew as he settles back into his chair and tries to spots birds from his window.  
  


* * *

  
“They’re kinda dumb, aren’t they?” Naruto whispers to Ino, in between Sasuke’s loud bickering with Itachi’s clone some minutes later.

“I’ve heard that siblings are like that,” she whispers back thoughtfully, putting the finishing touches on Naruto’s makeup, “but don’t worry—you’ll still have your boyfriend and future brother-in-law when they’re done.”

In between Naruto’s loud spluttering—and louder whining, when Ino whacks the back of his head for almost ruining his eyeliner—it’s just another noisy lunch hour at Ichiraku Ramen.

(and barely anyone bats a lash when a smug kunoichi emerges hours later, dragging three dolled-up and semi-conscious shinobi behind her)

**Author's Note:**

> For further author notes and other things related to this fic or series, feel free to check out my [blog](https://chiarosekuro.wordpress.com/). Alternately, potential prompts and other sorts of inspiration can be found on my [Tumblr](https://chroku-n.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chroku_n/) if that tickles your fancy instead - or, if you'd like your own shiny new oneshot, you can request one from me [here](https://chiarosekuro.wordpress.com/commissions/).


End file.
